I told my mom the other day that I sometimes wondered if it was easier to be alone. She responded with the old adage of how couples divide sorrows and multiply joys.
And that’s when it hit me how serious my relationship is becoming. My parents actually like him. That’s something new and different.
After seeing hundreds of romantic comedies, I’ve often wondered if happily ever after situations ever start with cute boys randomly striking up conversations with girls on airplanes.
The only people who ever sit next to me are old, muted, white businessmen.
| In a conversation with a former makeout buddy, I mention that I'm currently running in an election. | |
| S: | you have nice boobs. you'll win. |
| She: | so you're saying i should flash them before they vote? |
| S: | it'd work on me |
| She: | ha! vote for me and you can suck on these! ...that's a win-win, actually. |
| S: | seriously. wait, can i vote? |
| She: | if that's the case it would appear you've already voted. |
| S: | you know what they say... vote early, vote often. |
| She: | One thing you should know about me - I never drink regular sodas. It's almost always Diet Coke or Coke Zero. |
|---|---|
| R: | I rarely drink sodas, mostly sweet tea. |
| She: | Well, me either... BUT, I just downed an entire Dr. Pepper. |
| R: | Oh. |
| She: | ...in like .5 seconds. |
| R: | When that happens to me it generally means I am having a not so awesome day. |
| She: | Yeah... I think it was kind of a symbolic middle finger to the world. |
I’m a mess.
This has to be a bad dream. I’m going to bed now. When I wake up tomorrow, everything will be back to normal. Right?
Observation: When drinking a Heineken directly following a Dos Perros, it tastes like white grape juice. Weirdest sensation ever.
I am really over people flaunting sexuality for sport. Sexy should exist without having to charge admission. Doing it for show feels really fake somehow.
